Dead Ends

By the time you read this, I will (hopefully) be recovering from my hysterectomy. Yep, you read that right. Hysterectomy. I’m in my early 30’s so I’m not exactly the normal group for this kind of surgery. It wasn’t exactly in my plans when I went to my new gynecologist trying to get an explanation for the pelvic pain I’ve had for years. I’d been through four previous gynecologists who assured me that “oh, that level of pain is normal” while I was throwing back multiple layers of painkillers once a month and unable to sleep on my stomach from the pain. Hell, poking me in the stomach in the wrong spot could make me double over.

We were planning surgery anyway for potential endometriosis and to check my bladder for cysts, so I was a little surprised when the nurse came in during my second appointment and started talking about a hysterectomy. I had her backtrack for a moment to the part she assumed I already knew: my pre-op ultrasound had found fibroids in my uterus. Let’s just say that the fibroids have taken my period pain to a new high. Of course, I was given the option to keep my uterus but between the high likelihood of more fibroids and endometriosis, it seemed prudent just to let it go. We’ll find out afterward (so, today!) if I get to keep my ovaries. They’re supposed to stay unless the endometriosis has absorbed them.

I’m not worried about the surgery. It’s robot-assisted laparoscopy and should only take 2-3 hours if all goes to plan. (The miracles of modern science!) I’ve already had my gallbladder removed so I’m familiar with the general process, but this time there’s a longer recovery time (6-8 weeks) plus no travel for a while. Something about an empty hole in your pelvis where organs used to be and roads having bumps.

Of course, the biggest change is no longer having even the possibility of having children in the future. It was always a long shot—PCOS tends to come with a healthy dose of infertility—but now it’s a zero-shot. I have this thing about being part of a small family. I am literally related to everyone who shares my (real, legal) last name and my family’s had a specific plot of farmland in Pennsylvania since we came over with the early settlers of the region. So, continuing the line is somewhat important, and it’s important to my family. But that line’s not continuing with me and I’m okay with being the end of the line.

I still plan to have children, they’re just not going to be genetically similar. Also, this gets me out of that whole diapers stage. The current plan is to wait 4ish years until the babies my friends just had/are about to have are a little older and then adopt to match. But we’ll see what the future holds. For now, I’ve got two weeks off work where I can’t bend over and lift things (like my twelve-pound cat) and up to six more weeks of not leaving the house, at least until I’m healed up.

I’ve got a fresh stack of books from BishounenCon that I plan on digging into (and some leftover from RainbowCon and Anime North).

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